Today is our 10th Anniversary! On July 17th, 2004, we got married in a small ceremony with just our siblings, grandparents, parents and pastor. We've had quite the ride over these past ten years but we've made it through stronger and happier than ever. To celebrate I have some tips for those of you in your early years of marriage.
1. Be Committed
So many marriages fall apart when the honeymoon phase is over. Marriage takes work from both sides and as one of my best friends told me shortly after her wedding,
"It's not like the movies!"Both of you need to be willing to do the work to make it through "for better or for worse" It may even take help from church family or pastors at times. We've been there and it's hard admitting when things are wrong. We've been told that we do a good job of hiding how bad things are and that's not always a good thing. If you're committed to making it work, you've got to find someone to talk to at times.
2. Spend Time Together
You've probably heard it before but I'll say it again, date your husband! We haven't had money to go out very often but almost every night we make time to spend a few hours together before heading to bed. If you don't have money to go out here's a few ideas for you.
- Watch a movie
- Play a game (one of our favorite things to do!)
- Cook together (we've made bacon and eggs close to midnight on a few occasions)
- Do something HE enjoys ( a hard one I know!)
- Be silly! Have pillow fights, chase each other, tickle (my least favorite I must say!)
I have to admit that this is one we haven't gotten into the habit of yet but we are being encouraged to do so by our assistant pastor and his wife. Praying together brings you together, lets you be united with God even if it's just for a couple of minutes at the end of a busy day.
4. Don't Listen to the World
A few years ago when my husband was going through several months of major depression I started listening to family and friends who were telling me to give up on my marriage. At one point I almost listened. Then one day I finally realized. God doesn't want me to give up on my marriage! I finally realized that I needed to do things God's way and stop listening to those around me although they meant well.
5. Remember Your Wedding Ring
I don't mean remember to put it on. I mean remember the meaning of it! When we got married our pastor pointed out that a ring has no end to it. I had never really thought of that before. Here is why he said that though. Marriage is supposed to be "until death do us part" There is NO end to it. As tough as times may get, that ring is always a reminder that marriage isn't supposed to end.
These past ten years of marriage have been quite the ride. I've heard that if you make it through the first ten, things get easier. Not that there won't be bumps in the road but we've learned a lot over these past years and I can't wait to see what God has in store for the years to come for our marriage. So far, four wonderful blessings have been given to us, a job that he loves, a house to live in that has plenty of space for us and a love between us that is stronger than ever!
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